a year of service for a lifetime of therapy

When we were at YAV orientation almost five months ago now, I heard a YAV alum say that instead of "a year of service for a lifetime of change" the YAV slogan should be "a year of service for a lifetime of therapy." I laughed. I knew we'd be up against some tough stuff at times and I knew we'd each come home from our respective placements with a different view on things. Now, however, I'm beginning to understand what that YAV alum meant.

A week ago Kendra and I were in Dublin for New Year's. It was a great trip, for the most part. We spent a couple of days before New Year's seeing the different museums and galleries and taking in the sites. On our last day, as we ate a small lunch at a coffee shop, I saw a young man take a seat outside on the sidewalk in his sleeping bag. I thought about taking him a cup of coffee or something but then didn't even acknowledge him when we left. My lack of action stuck with me. As a result, I wrote the following in my journal on the train back to Belfast that same afternoon.

Jan 1. I didn't get it until today. "A year of service for a lifetime of therapy." There's something about doing a YAV year. Something about selling or giving away a lot of your things in order to move and serve where God has called you. There's something about making God's work the center of your being. And that something messes with you. As we ate lunch today at Insomnia Coffee in Dublin I watched a guy take a seat outside in his sleeping bag. As we left and passed him, I think he was crying. I noticed him when we were in the coffee shop and had time to think of doing something for him. Then, I did nothing. Kendra asked me if we should go back but still, I did nothing. I saw him one last time a half hour later as I looked back on our way down Grafton St and I did nothing. I don't care now if he sleeps somewhere warm at night or not. I actually hope he does. I hope he has means of getting by other then begging. And even if he does, even if he's trying to scam people, I should have helped. Because we don't live in a world that was created with the idea in mind that someone sitting on the corner crying should be passed by again and again. And we need to change the perception that we do. If I'm for that crying man then I am not of this world's perception about him. Yet, today I was. And now it's eating at me. I might not solve anything but Christ only instructed me to help - to feed, to clothe, to visit. I could've done all of those today. Instead, I'm on a train back to Belfast. (concludes journal entry)

It's easy to beat ourselves up. We forgot that we were created by a forgiving God. But we can't take forgiveness for granted. We're created for more than making redeemable mistakes. And we do not live in a world where it's okay for someone to be begging on the street for any reason. We have to fix that. People shouldn't be homeless and begging and people shouldn't have to pretend they're homeless and begging. People definitely shouldn't defend not helping with the thought that they were going to be scammed. Scammed or not, we're called to help. And if someone feels that they have to scam to get by, then the Church and its people still have work to do with that person. But that work won't start if we don't stop to help in some way.

So there's a quick post just on how this year has started to shape how I'm seeing the world. The other thought that goes along with this is that the episode made me think more deeply about the idea of a YAV year. A lot of people had said that it's great we're "giving up a year" or "putting our lives on hold for a year" but I've begun to realize we aren't doing either of those. We're living for God this year more than we have before and I think it's safe to argue that doing so does not put life on hold. One might say we're truly living for the first time. And we aren't giving up anything because we're in the right place for 2012 trying (and often failing) to do what we're capable of doing for the Kingdom. Because of that, it's going to be a great year! Happy 2012!